IStayHatin.com
Trying out new layouts this week, please hang in there
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Southwest Airlines is a very customer friendly airline…if you like no leg room, extended wait times, unfair policies and unfunny jokes.
- I hate the boarding policy…there are no assigned seats. You are assigned a number based on when you checked in and you choose your own seats from there. The problem with this is that you always end up next to a handful of assholes and it makes it more insulting that you chose your own seat.
- They don’t sell in flight snacks….they do however give you a bag of peanuts about the size of a half dollar. First off, this isn’t the 40s so who the fuck eats peanuts anymore? Second of all, what the fuck am I going to do with a bag of 9 peanut halves? That’s not enough to satisfy any one. It is however enough to have an obnoxious amount of peanuts stuck in my teeth.
- Attn EVERY Steward/Stewardess on Southwest Airlines…E-V-E-R…YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. Let me repeat that …YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. I don’t care how many jokes you learned from reading the New Yorker, how many cute little “urban” handshakes you guys learned, I really don’t want to see a fucking magic trick…anyone over the age of 16 performing magic is a fucking weirdo and likely a pedophile (david blaine, chris angel, that weird magician that showed up to your son’s birthday party in the van with no windows.) and I certainly don’t want to hear you RAPPING. I get it, your “talent” for rapping impresses lots of people that don’t listen to rap, but it’s time for some harsh truth… You are terrible. Furthermore, most “rappers” aren’t even any good at it so you in your fitted sweater vest and tapered slacks just aren’t doing it for me, HOMEBOY.
- Your bathroom smells like New Jersey and New Delhi had a love child on a hot summer day…I’d rather lick a subway seat in New York than smell that smell.
- You reserve seats for people on connecting flights….So there are no assigned seats but you’re saving these seats for some asshole that missed his connection because he was buying iPad accessories from a Best Buy vending machine for 3x times what they should cost….I think instead of guarding these seats like they are the fountain of youth, you should go write another rap.
- I hate that you made me and 100 of my friends wait 58 minutes for 2 assholes on a connecting flight that was late…..just reassign their flight at that point. Mind you this was 58 ON PLANE minutes after a weather delay….FML. I know you can’t control the weather, but you can control rescheduling of idiots running late.
- I hate that your plane has those extra flares on the end of the wing yet your plane has more turbulence than my bowels after indian food. Ugh…
I can’t hate anymore today because I have to go to the airport but I really could go on forever.
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IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT I JUST GOT TAYLOR SWIFT PREGNANT
Alright you guys know I couldn’t not talk about Beyonce and her belly rub at the VMA’s. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not an asshole so I’m not going to talk about her pregnancy…FUCK IT, yes I am an asshole and yes I am gonna talk about that rich-as-fuck fetus.
The only thing annoying enough to make me forget that shit show Transgenderred idiot performance by Vinny Gaga was Beyonce.
(sidebar: what the fuck was Guy-Guy trying to do there? Pay homage to West Side Story.)
Anyway, Beyonce’s performance was aight. Considering how much I hate her I think that is high praise. Then AFTER the performance this whore slams down the microphone. Unbuttons her glittery blazer and rubs her belly like Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers movies. I mean why did it have to be such a publicity stunt. That look she gave the camera pretty much caused me a lifetime of erectile disfunction. I mean can you imagine what this baby will look like? Jay-Z’s lips and nose mixed with her giant head and ass? I’ll stop…
But seriously who does this bitch think she has in the womb? Suri Cruise? No way. This baby’s parents might be music icons but those features are a recipe for the elephant man 2011. Yuck yuck yuck!!!
I had to do this post on my cell so it’s a little short….and it’s a fucking holiday so shut the fuck up….and die……in a fire. Tomorrow I’ll go a little more in depth if I’m not too tired. Later bitches
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Thanks for the follow, I checked out your blog, interesting and different
Asked by youryourewhoandwhom
Thanks, just my way of not exploding on the world. Thanks for checking it out.
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You are not a role model because you CANNOT COUNT. At 1 minute and 37 seconds she talks about 3 kids, and holds up 4 fingers….
Futhermore you’re a black ( ha ha, why is it funny to me to say “A” black…lol) and you rock that straight hair ALL DAMN DAY. We know you ain’t naturally like that. IF you want to be such a damn role model for the youth why don’t you show the young black girls…fuck it all the kids out there (black, white, mixed, whatever) that it’s cool to go natural. I’m not saying stop shaving your arm pits, but rock that natural hair. I’m also not saying go Badu or Britney on em, but just rock them locks girl…let it knap up a little bit. Curly hair is sexy too. You already kicked out all the dark skinned girls from Destiny’s child so we know you’re just that kinda funky. GET OVER YOURSELF. You are cute, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to thinking you like like a brown skinned teletubby every time I see you.
BITCH YOU”RE NOT A BLONDE EITHER…..fuck I hate her. Gonna go light on her for now because I’m really trying to focus on the royal wedding for the friday deadline. Wish me luck
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Listen Bitch…(that’s for Beyoncè not you bitches)…it’s clear that the world hates you. Now lemme tell you why. You’re not this angelic queen you try to come off as. You’re selling snake oil. Smoke and Mirrors…BULLSHIT. you talk all this man hating shit for the last 15 years and you been with Joe Camel (jay-z) for like the last 7 years. You got a man and I’ll assume he’s a good man since he hasn’t really had any scandals in the tabloids and he’s worth “half a Billy” (that’s half a billion, not half of bill gates) and all you do is talk shit on men and how horrible we are.
you’re a terrible role model to women in relationships and those looking for them. You’re speaking on a struggle you know nothing about bitch. That’s like short people complaining about the space on an airplane seat… this struggle you know not (yep I just went all Yoda on your asses).
I had to quote this asshat once again:
“If I Were a boy, I think I could understand, how it feels to love a girl…I swear I’d be a better man”
And
“I’d listen to herrrrr…cause I know how it hurts when you lose the one you wanted cause he’s taken you for granted and everything you had got destroyed”
Ooooh, I’m seething right now. This bitch has me more volatile that a nuclear reactor in Japan!!!!! (too soon? NOPE)….(FYI a wise man once told me it’s NEVER TOO SOON).
First Bitch, you ain’t a man but you’re acting like one the way you sweat yourself. Look you’re cute but you really act like you wake up in the morning and piss execllence. You don’t bitch. You’re a poser and now your ass is on blast!!!
Secondly, you can’t possibly be serious about “listening to her”. HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO A WOMAN SPEAK FOR MORE THEN 5 MINUTES?!?!?!?!?! Prolly not because you’re too busy talking about yourself and your own needs to hear anything anyone has to say…..which is my point exactly. Case closed.
Pt. Will deal with how you are NOT. A good role model some more but also how fake your ass is. That will be in the evening time. Thank you and good day…(bitches)
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You must not know bout me… - Beyonce, Irreplaceable
Ummm…Actually I do. You’re overweight, insecure, overrated and undertlalented. I’m not saying you’re untalented…just undertalented.
“I can have another you in a minute, he’ll be here in a minute” - Beyonce, Irreplaceable
…Oh Oh, so you a ho now right? Sounds like you had a brother in waiting if he can be here in a minute. But I thought you was Miss Positivity. You’re worse than these bible thumping booze bags I see at happy hour and then later see getting finger blasted in the parking lot in the back of a 1998 Chevy Tahoe…You make me sick. If you had a man waiting on this moment it sounds like you weren’t really committed to making this situation work…but the man (me) is to blame right. Fugg YOU beesh!!!
Omg, seriously…you know this idiot filling her nails in the video probably never filed her nails in her life…She does one of those stupid ass silk wrap fill-in whacky tacky french dip liquid satin $450 manicures. Which makes every woman in america feel like they not only deserve it, but can afford it: “if it’s good enough for Beyonce, it’s good enough for this Queen”…. <—-(I could go on for days with the self proclomation of royalty: “Bitch you grew up in Meriden…SOUTH Meriden at that”)…..<—-(realizing I just lost about 13 readers for that south meriden comment…word will probably spread fast through the “village” of south meriden and before you know it all 43 residents of south meriden will be picketing the hater headquarters).
Maybe I’m a little salty because I had all my shit put in a box to the left. Truth be told I would have hated this song anyway…but that just made it a little bit more real. Oh well.
Today is a lite hate list because I spent most of my moring trying to figure out why facebook is hating on the hater and deleting my links. I’m also fighting off a mean food coma as we speak. Tomorrow will go a bit more in depth and actually be hateful (because I really don’t like today’s content).
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Beyonce, Beyoncee, Bee-on-say….
I just call the bitch Beyonce (Bee-Yon-Sss)…and to put it lightly I’m not impressed. Anyone who is impressed by her is probably:
- not known for their intelligence
- licking a window and wearing a helmet as we speak
- getting their hair and nails “did”
- under the age of 16
- talking about how they don’t need “his no good ass anyhow”
- telling a friend “you was better than him anyway, i never thought he was shit to begin with”…(actually you’re just made because we chose her not you and you’ve been salty ever sense…fellas am I right)
- a woman that ain’t worth shit herself and is clinging on to a “positive role model” who says “winning” catch phrases (examples below).
I hate her and what she stands for SO MUCH that I literally don’t even know where to begin. I think I’ll start how most people out there start when they are about to go on a rant: I don’t want to sound like a jerk but….I actually don’t give a shit what any of you think, so I’m not only going to be a jerk, I’m going to be unapologetically honest about it. Feel free to stop reading now if you are easily offended, sensitive, going to counseling for any reason, smothered in bitchassness, a feminist…..CORRECTION…all of you are the ones that need to read this the most. I’m keeping it 100 for you…deal with it and stop being soft.
Before I begin, since many of you are new readers I must start by saying, the web address says it all: www.ISTAYHATIN.com. Don’t sound so surprised when all you read is pure textual Haterade. Secondly, I’m not a racist (I’m rather diverse myself) so don’t be so moist …it’s only words. I’m not a misogynist. As a matter of fact “I love women…every single one of you….even the ugly as shit ones” (some people will pick up on that and others will only look at the surface and miss out…just Google it). Truth be told I’m just a guy that says what you’re thinking and wants to say but are afraid to do so out loud for fear of what people might think. Personally…I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks…unless you love what I have to say, in which case it makes me smile. If you hate what I have to say I welcome you to respond to my ranting and I will respond to EVERY response I get (pretty much shutting down every point you have with my higher intellect and overall understanding of any topic I discuss because that’s just what I do…and if for some reason you’re smarter than me, or you’re more correct than I am, I’ll assassinate your character, your fashion sense, goofy looking Facebook profile picture AND tell people to laugh and point anytime they see you.). Anyhow I digress from all the housekeeping and on to the slander…
So fellas, remember growing up and playing baseball, soccer, hockey, football, etc….and the coach had a son on the team and his skills were mediocre at best…well that’s Beyonce. Matthew Knowles (her daddy) was the manager for all the versions of Destiny’s Child (which had group members going in and out more than Charlie Sheen at the crack house…OOOOoooooh BURN :-p). This no talent broad got surrounded by lots of nice looking more talented girls and made all kinds of songs no body wanted to listen to. Then we got the final cut Michelle Williams fine ass, Kelly Rowland (also fine, but no one pays attention to women with short hair) and Be-yotch. They started making that “if you’re a women and not hitting on shit” music and it SOLD like seeds for money trees:
“can you pay my bills
can you pay my telephone bills
can you pay my automo’bills
then maybe we can chill
I don’t think you do
so you and me are through”- Beyonce with Destiny’s Child; Song: Bills Bills Bills
This same chick had the nerve to sing a song called Independent Woman:
“The shoes on my feet…I’ve bought it,
The clothes I’m wearing…I’ve bought it,
The rock I’m rockin’…I’ve bought it
‘Cause I depend on me…If I wanted the watch you’re wearin’…I’ll buy it,
The house I live in…I’ve bought it,
The car I’m driving…I’ve bought it,
I depend on me”- Beyonce with Destiny’s Child; Song: Bills Bills Bills
Later on this hoe made a song called, if you like it Single Ladies:
“If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it…Oh Oh Oh… Oh Oh Oh Oh”
……Um how about you just be faithful you stupid big headed idiot. I know you wanna get married and all but if he didn’t put a ring on it, how about you just wait til he does. Or break up with him….Oh wait that’s right, you’re not actually strong enough to leave him so you pull that coward move of talking shit and belittling him until he begrudgingly marries you stupid ass….only to have you in couples therapy 2 years later with you crying “I don’t know where we went wrong”; He didn’t want to marry your stupid ass but SOMEBODY couldn’t take a clue…hell you even called his momma (how do you expect him to walk away after you had his momma shame him, you idiot.).
Now I can’t just hate on Single Ladies. This is probably Beyonce’s only good contribution….we’ll there is always the booty shaking from the Crazy in Love video…but back to Single Ladies. According to Kanye “Taylor I’mma let you finish” West “that video was one of the greatest videos of all time, OF ALL TIME”. While I agree the video was rather seductive, used great camera angles and unique shots or a few beautiful women dancing, I think that video would be perfect if you could just take all the imagery from it, leave in the instrumental and just remove her singing. Also, if they could somehow use CGI to reduce her enormous forehead that would be wonderful. Her poof in that video is literally larger than ALL of Snooki. On the real this video did inspire MANY adorable videos of little kids copying her dance. Like this and this
At this point I realize could go on FOREVER so what I’ve decided to do is post my strong hate for the self proclaimed “Diva” everyday next week. Hope you all enjoy this little teaser. Actually, I don’t care if you did or not….later
